If you followed this weeks tutorial on How-To Score a Date With Someone in Class, you probably have a date now! That tutorial was filled with such expert advice such as:
- Talk to the person you’re interested in
- Make that person your study buddy
- Ask them on a date
If you’d like more details on the forensic science of getting someone to date you, go ahead and read the whole thing. When you succeed, you can go on to read this post. If you already have a date, but are unsure of how to proceed, this post is for you!
This post is also for the fellas (next week, we’ll cover dating for the ladies). Today, we’re going to cover the basics. There are some things that you absolutely need to do to show a girl a good time. It’s not as simple as taking her to a nice restaurant and a good movie. It’s deeper than that. Great first dates are filled with chemistry and connection. We’ve been on good dates and bad dates and the deciding factor is never what we ate or where we went. We’re here to translate some of the things we’ve learned into a guide for the first date
The first thing you have to come to grips with, before you pick your lady friend up, is that girls are different than boys. Anatomy aside, we’re mentally and emotionally different from each other. If you’re going on a date with someone who enjoys the same things that you do, you still need to understand how to make her feel comfortable and special.
Dudes make the common mistake of trying to treat their dates like they’re one of the boys. And girls are more than willing to accommodate that notion. We want to seem like one of the boys. We want you to think we’re low maintenance. Secretly (don’t deny it tomboys) all of us want to feel like princesses. We don’t want to force you to treat us that way. So we’re not going to be demanding or snobby. But deep down, we want you to want to make us feel special.
Make sure the date is going to be a one on one thing. This is your first opportunity to get to know each other. It’s also your first opportunity to show her that she’s special to you (even if she’s not super special to you, yet). Don’t start off on the wrong foot and make her feel like she’s just another girl you’re taking out. You have to show her that you care
. It’s subtle and simple, but asking questions and listening to her will show that you care about her well being, her past, her dreams and her desires. That’s the biggest thing for women: we have to feel cared for. Show her that chivalry isn’t dead, at least when it comes to her. Make her feel like being around her makes you want to open doors, help her into the car, and play music that she likes.
You might want to stop reading this post right now because you think it’s too touchy feely, and you just want to know what kind of food girls like to eat. Well, there’s some food advice mixed in with this next one.
The second most important thing for women is that we have to be understood. We can’t feel like you’re judging us. If you’re a carnivore and you’re taking out a vegetarian, don’t make jokes about what a hippy she is. If you’re a vegetarian and you’re taking out a carnivore, don’t tell her what she’s doing is wrong and sad. If she admits that she doesn’t really like the restaurant you propose, don’t say, “Are you out of your mind!? That’s the best place in town!” Just tell her that you thought she would be into it, and ask her where she’d like to go instead.
Don’t try to finish her sentences. Presuming that you know what we’re going to say is deeply frustrating for women. Also, grouping her in with women in general, is extremely annoying. Don’t say, women are like this. Women are like that. Women need to feel like complete individuals. Ask her what she thinks about anything. Let her respond. When women notice that men are truly trying to understand our point of view, it’s so refreshing. Tell her that what she says is interesting and that you’d never thought about it from her perspective. It will make her feel like you get her. This isn’t a cheat sheet either. Don’t be a faker. You should really be trying to get her.
For some reason, the whole feminist movement made people think differently about what it means to respect a woman
. To truly respect a woman, you need to give regard to her thoughts, needs, wishes and rights. You don’t respect women by treating them like men. That’s fundamentally disrespectful. When men treat us like we’re men, we tend to feel like they don’t respect our feminity and that they’re trying to marginalize what we think is important.
Women wish that men would bring them flowers. We do. It’s just a fact and it’s also a matter of respect. When a man brings a woman flowers he’s saying, “These aren’t important to me. I don’t really care about flowers, but I know you do. And I respect that they are important to you.” They’re also just plain sweet.
If you treat a woman well on the first date, you’re more likely to have a second one and a third one. She’ll think you’re intuitive and that you understand what she really wants. She’ll think you’re sweet and caring. This is what you want. Many women won’t admit that this is the way they want to be treated, but it’s just the way it is. Sure, women will sleep with a douche bag, but it’s not going to be fulfilling or healthy for either party. In order to have a good and warm experience with a woman, all you really have to do is show her that you care for her, understand her and respect her. It’s that simple, and it doesn’t cost a dime
Fellas, what do you think about all of this insight? Ladies, what else can a man do to show you a good time on the first date?